Emily Rath

“Suffer the Children”

Tonight I went to bed at 10 and woke up to my own strained voice, shouting, “Mama!  Mama!”  Every dream I am crying out to her for help.  And she’s not hearing me.  I’m walking in the dark downstairs trying to find a blanket.  Something was scary, and wrong in the house, in my room.  So Carrie and I were moving into her room in the middle of the night.  It was huge.  We spread blankets out on the floor.  But they didn’t have enough for me.  And I didn’t have a nightgown.  I didn’t have something to wear to protect me, or blankets to keep me warm.  So I went downstairs.  It was creepy, lit by just a tiny light I was carrying, with shadows and messes everywhere, piles of things in the dining room and hallway coming out of the dark.  I still couldn’t find something to wear.  I got scared.  It felt like someone was there.  I ran up the stairs.  I leaned over the bannister because I heard someone.  And I saw him, in a grey hoodie.  He was tall and large, moving quickly to the door of the kitchen, I started screaming for my mom but she didn’t hear me, or believe that we were in danger, even though I was right in front of her bedroom door.  And I woke up.  Trying and failing to scream.

My heart racing and eyes wide, there was no way I could lull myself to sleep so the next few hours I spent reading about recurring nightmares and how to stop them.  Exercise.  Don’t eat before bed.  Don’t drink alcohol.  Don’t eat sugar.  Cut down on caffeine. Play more.  All of the things I have tried to do again and again but sometimes relapse into an average life of eating sugar and having a glass of wine before bed.  I feel though, like I have given up everything.  Dancing.  Singing.  Studies.  I’m suffocating.  I am robbing myself of life and freedom by living with my mother.  I didn’t had these dreams while living alone, or with roommates.  It has only been since moving home that these have inflicted my every week.  However, I know this is a transition, a period in my life of what feels like confinement, while I address my future.  It does not make sense to sign a lease on an apartment for a few months if I am about to move out of the country.  So at this time, I must keep my heart open, take care of my needs, and listen to the nightmares that return.

It is always a burglar.  Sometimes his purpose is not to steal, but to murder me.  Dreams about burglary can mean “feeling that something has been taken from you without being able to control it.”  Feeling dishonest and sneaky.  It can mean feelings of insecurity about losing power or stability.  Feeling violated on a personal,  emotional level or material level. All of these apply to me.  It’s like a mound of feelings with thousands of layers of earth, each different, deeper and deeper, and my vines are struggling to grow until I give them the nutrients they need.  My therapist told me I have all of these emotions that I am not letting out, and that I must express myself creatively.  I feel like I may explode.  So through reading other’s poetry, lyrics, novels… I find inspiration.  These lyrics are very close to how I feel… a feeling of neglect, sadness, and nightmares.

 “It’s a sad affair
When there’s no one there
He calls out in the night
And it’s so unfair
At least it seems that way
When you gave him his life

And all this time he’s been getting you down
You ought to pick him up when there’s no one around
And convince him
Just talk to him
’cause he knows in his heart you won’t be home soon
He’s an only child in an only room
And he’s dependent on you
Oh he’s dependent on you

And it seems so strange
That at the end of the day
Making love can be so good
But the Pain of birth
What is it worth
When it don’t turn out the way it should

And all this time he’s been getting you down
You ought to pick him up when there’s no one around
And convince him
Just talk to him
’cause he knows in his heart you won’t be home soon
He’s an only child in an only room
And he’s dependent on you
Oh, he’s dependent on you

…Suffer, suffer the children”

-Tears for Fears, 1981

“Hey You”

“Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight

Hey you out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home

But it was only fantasy
The wall was too high
As you can see
No matter how he tried
He could not break free
And the worms ate into his brain

Hey you, out there on the road
Always doing what you’re told
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall
Breaking bottles in the hall
Can you help me?
Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall”

-Pink Floyd, The Wall, 1979

“Mad World”

“All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
‘Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
‘Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
‘Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world”

-Tears For Fears, The Hurting, 1982

“Shout”

“Shout
Shout
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
Come on
I’m talking to you
Come on

In violent times
You shouldn’t have to sell your soul
In black and white
They really really ought to know

Those one track minds
That took you for a working boy
Kiss them goodbye
You shouldn’t have to jump for joy
You shouldn’t have to jump for joy

Shout
Shout
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
Come on
I’m talking to you
Come on

They gave you life
And in return you gave them hell
As cold as ice
I hope we live to tell the tale
I hope we live to…

Shout
Shout
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
Come on
I’m talking to you
Come on

And when you’ve taken down your guard
If I could change your mind
I’d really love to break your heart
I’d really love to…

Shout
Shout
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
Come on
I’m talking to you
Come on”

-Tears For Fears, Songs from the Big Chair, 1984

“Happy Idiot”

“Stuck in the shade
Where there’s no sunshine
I don’t wanna play
With them other kids in the sun

Since you left me babe
It’s been a long way down
Yea you left me babe
It’s been a long way down

What you don’t know won’t hurt you yea
Ignorance is bliss
I’m a happy idiot
Waving at cars
I’m gonna bang my head to the wall
‘Till I feel like nothing at all
I’m a happy idiot
To keep my mind off you

Stuck in a daze and I’ve lost my mind
I don’t wanna stay
Where the blame’s all mine

Since you left me babe
It’s been a long way down
Yea you left me babe
It’s been a long way down

So I shut it off
So I shut it all off
So I shut it off
So I shut it all off

It’s been a long way down
It’s been a long way down

What you don’t know won’t hurt you yea
Ignorance is bliss
I’m a happy idiot
Waving at cars
I’m gonna bang my head to the wall
‘Till I feel like nothing at all
I’m a happy idiot
To keep my mind off you
To keep my mind off you
To keep my mind off you”

-TV on the Radio, Seeds, 2014

“The Only One”

“Oh I love, oh I love, oh I love
What you do to my head
When you pull me upstairs
And you push me to bed

I love what you do to my head
It’s a mess out there!

Oh I love, oh I love, oh I love
What you do to my heart
When you push me back down
And then pull me apart

I love what you do to my heart
It’s the best, oh yeah

Oh I love, oh I love, oh I love
What you do to my lips
When you suck me inside
And you blow me a kiss
I love what you do to my lips
It’s so sweet in there

Oh I love, love, love, love
What you do to my hips
When you blow me outside
And then suck me like this

I love what you do to my hips
It’s the beat, oh yeah

You’re the only one I cry for
The only one I try to please
You’re the only one I sigh for
The only one I die to squeeze

And it gets better everyday, I play
With you it’s such a scream
Yeah it gets better everyday, I say
With you it’s so extreme

Yeah it gets wetter everyday, I stay
With you it’s like a dream

Oh I love, oh I love, oh I love
What you do to my skin
Please slip me on
And slide me in

I love what you do to my skin
It’s a passion oh yeah

Oh I love, love, love, love
What you do to my bones
When you slide me up
And take me home
I love what you do to my bones
It’s the crush oh yeah

You’re the only one I cry for
The only one I try to please
You’re the only one I sigh for
The only one I die to squeeze

And it gets hazier anyway, I sway
With you it’s such a scream
Yeah it gets mazier every play, I say
With you it’s so extreme

Yeah it gets crazier everyday, I stay
With you it’s like a dream

Oh I love, oh I love, oh I love
What you do to me.”

 

-The Cure, 4:13 Dream, 2008

“In Between Days”

“Yesterday I got so old
I felt like I could die
Yesterday I got so old
It made me want to cry
Go on, go on
Just walk away
Go on, go on
Your choice is made
Go on, go on
And disappear
Go on, go on
Away from here

And I know I was wrong
When I said it was true
That it couldn’t be me and be her
Inbetween without you
Without you

Yesterday I got so scared
I shivered like a child
Yesterday away from you
It froze me deep inside
Come back, come back
Don’t walk away
Come back, come back
Come back, today
Come back, come back
Why can’t you see
Come back, come back
Come back, to me

And I know I was wrong
When I said it was true
That it couldn’t be me and be her
Inbetween without you
Without you”

-The Cure, The Head on the Door, 1985

“A Strange Day”

“Give me your eyes
That I might see the blind man kissing my hands
The sun is humming
My head turns to dust as he plays on his knees
As he plays on his knees
And the sand
And the sea grows
I close my eyes
Move slowly through drowning waves
Going away on a strange day

And I laugh as I drift in the wind
Blind
Dancing on a beach of stone
Cherish the faces as they wait for the end
Sudden hush across the water
And we’re here again
And the sand
And the sea grows
I close my eyes
Move slowly through drowning waves
Going away
On a strange day

My head falls back
And the walls crash down
And the sky
And the impossible
Explode
Held for one moment I remember a song
An impression of sound
Then everything is gone
Forever

A strange day”

-The Cure, Pornography, 1982

Read more:  The Cure – A Strange Day Lyrics | MetroLyrics

alfageeek

for when 140 letters are not quite enough

Jay Colby

Life, Inspiration & Motivation

RXCRDV

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Joshi Daniel Photography

Images of People Photoblog

Cooking with a Wallflower

Cooking. Baking. Crafting. Writing.

arlinspires.wordpress.com/

Beach Soul Wanderlust Blog

Cooking without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes

Little Fears

Flash fiction tales of humor, horror and whimsy

Logical Quotes

Logical and Inspirational Quotes

Rishav K Singh

Project Theos